Story of Aada " An unmarried mother" in her own words

                               


I also saw a dream of walking down the aisle in my wedding gown towards my beloved and prince charming but when reality stuck, I was walking down the staircase of Escort Hospital. Many questions coming and going inside my head. 

                              
                                             
Wearing a white cotton gown which had light green & light pinkish leaves on it I was walking very confidently or rather trying to walk very confidently. At the billing counter the lady whose batch spelled as Asha asked me the doctor whom I wanted to meet. Without looking towards her I told Anita Kant. I suppose she understood what I was about to do. She very politely asked her, why do you want to commit such a big crime? I was speechless but once again she understood my silent desperation.


                                         


With a caring touch she looked at me and asked is "HE" with you or are you alone? "ALL ALONE" was the only two words which I could speak. Once again that soothing voice said "its Rs.2,000, do you have that much amount?" I nodded in a positive manner. Straight to the right was what she directed me. Holding the receipt in my hand and people with their babies all around was making me feeling dizzy and uneasy.  




                                          


As if I was taken back to the time and the man of my dreams was waiting in front of me. He took my hands so tight that as if no one on earth could separate me from him. It was a night when we both wanted to be with each other and we both wanted that magic to happen. We knew that no one would be around and it would be only me and him we went ahead and only listened our heart. We sat on the couch, we looked straight into each others eyes and caressed each other. We started with just a peg on lips which slowly changed into a gentle liplock and grew into passionate kiss. I tried to control myself but the warmth his touch gave, turned me on. His each move was like move of a leopard. He took me by his arms. I was always fascinated by his muscles but never thought those to be so strong. He carried me to my bedroom and looked at me. I was looking very minute in front of his passion and strength. I was scared but excited too. I was about to loose the most important thing of my life but to a person whom I wanted to and loved too. His long hands touching my body, his lips kissing my neck. His body all over me made me crave for him. My man was adoring me, loving me. Slowly he came near to me and by this time we both where breathing fast. He took his lips and kissed my navel, my whole body was shivering with joy and what just happened. He touched my forehead and planted a kiss. It was serene. That very moment i felt like telling the whole world that after chasing my prince charming for 7 n half long years, he is just besides me and loving me. 




                                              




It was bliss full. After that there was no looking back. That night I broke all the rules that I had maintened for 24years. We passionately made love to each other. It was second time for him and I was a first timer. The feeling of him in me was as pure as anyone can experience. But in those passionate moment he unknowingly in pleasure and excitement ejaculated in me. After we made love I asked him in an inquisitive manner didn't you come? He said in a very cute manner after kissing my lips "yes in You". I was shocked & cold like ice.I was screaming at him in the middle of the night and said how could you do that? After long persuasion  he calmed me and said me that we would take the pills and it would be f9. After that we went back to the bedroom and he hold me tight as if he wont ever let me be hurt. 




                                              


After the prescribed date he brought me a pregnancy checking apparatus. At that point of time also no one was at home. I read the instruction and did as instructed. I prayed to God that it should be negative but it was what i was afraid of. I was pregnant. I could not believe what just happened to me. it was 5:30pm when the bell of my cell phone rang, it was HE.... Even he was curious for the results. I took a deep breath and picked up the call, he asked me so, what is the result. It took me a lot of courage to say it the result is positive. He asked me once again & I said the same thing. But somehow he thought that I was kidding. The way he said me yes I know you are pregnant & you want me to be scared? I couldn't utter anything further.


                                              


This was the first time when, I cursed myself for not holding my emotions & flowing with the passion. I did not knew anything where to start and how to start. I knew neither my family, nor the person with whom I made love would accept this. The only thing that was left as an option was "abortion". A sin for which every human being should be punished. I read a zillion times what happens when the child is aborted, how is the procedure of doing an all. But believe me the moment you are pregnant you change into a different person. 


From a very far distance I could hear my name Aada... Aada!!!! I suddenly realized that it was my turn to meet the doctor. 




                                               


Knocking the door I entered, a lady with a bob cut hair & a big red bindi was looking at me. This time I could not hide my anxiety and narrated my story. With a deep and long pause she said her 1st word to me "do not do this my child, you will always repent for this act. I can only suggest you. Its a Godly feeling do not loose this opportunity. I'll talk to your parents & your partner but do not commit this crime." My eyes filled with tears rolled down my cheeks and said my side of the story. The doctor understood. She asked me to lie on the examination couch. After putting her gloves on she asked the nurse to prepare for an ultrasound so that she could check the condition and the status of the baby. It was a transparent gelly like solution that was applied on my abdomine. Sometimes she use to press the rod hard and sometimes softly. I was watching a black and white video on the tv screen. After accessing me for 30minutes she gave me some tissue paper to clean my self and asked me to dress back. As instructed i did the same. As I sat on the stool she asked me to look at the tv screen and showed me a spot & said this is your baby. It is 1 and half  weeks old. 


                                          


Believe me this is the most beautiful feeling that anyone can feel. She took my hands to my tummy and made me touch it and said your small baby is here. Its YOUR BABY. She narrated me that this spot will slowly and steadily will grow and form a face, nose, hands, legs & it would be in me. She told me " You are lucky enough that you are feeling these". For the 1st time I touched it and thanked my prince charming. I do not know why but the feeling that a part of his is in me made me feel he is near to me. The biggest reason to love that baby was that it was mine and his baby. While I was in my dreamland the doctor had written few things and some medicines. While I was about to leave the doctor said that you can only abort this baby when it is 3 weeks old. Till the time you have to take good care of the baby. The abortion would be a medicated abortion & if further there is any complication I can come for regular checkups. In one moment the pack of cards that I had set got swept away. 


                                          


While I was coming out of that door, I was a changed person. I was a mommy of my baby. I was conceiving a baby of that person whom I loved. In those 1and half  weeks, I enjoyed the mood swings, became tearful with little cause, when asked why I was crying, I found difficult or impossible to give a reason, I hadn't slept for days, also had borderline nausea kicking in etc. In those days I missed HIM very much, I wanted him to touch , feel his baby but could not. It was as if I was going to have my baby. I started to read about babies and pregnancy and all. I use to stand in front of mirrors for hours and use to see that has my tummy grown a little but it was my childish attitude. 




                                           


I wanted to run down to him and tell him lets have this baby. This baby is far more important because it your part, it makes me feel that you are near to me, its reminds me of you every time. but alas! never could tell him that as I knew the moment i would tell him he would leave me and that was one thing which I could not afford. I became selfish. After those 1and half weeks when I returned home I knew I lost the most precious thing of my life that day " My Baby".


Neither can you " My prince charming" and neither can anyone else understand what I lost that day. The feeling that it crawled in me, the feeling of the fingers, the legs... everything. Today I am all alone and this time even you " My prince charming" left me for some one else.




                                                    


Thats me Aada and that my side of story......